:: American Angst :: |
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Puttin' the FUN in dys-FUN-ctional!! It's the holidays! Time for Ding Fries Are Done! |
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But Paula, the rocket scientist, hears his comment and says, I kid you not, "Oh my GOD. That is BRILLIANT!!"
Wow. I ASPIRE to her level of genius.
My mother is a much nicer, more tolerant person than I. She insists that Paula was just being funny...making fun of him. I refuse to believe this. I have listened to her speak for years now, and she is shockingly unintelligent...not an ounce of depth. Watch Ryan Seacrest...he will frequently surprise her with biiiig stretches of air time -- no warning or prep-time -- and she just goes on and on, hangin' herself, speaking but saying nothing. It's very sad, really. But the upside is that it's yet another opportunity to make Gracie feel superior. My fav!
Someone...Please PLEASE tell...what's her face...husky-voiced girl that sang Knock on Wood...to STOP DOING THE POOP SQUAT when she sings! I'm sure they do it to show us that they are SO feelin' the music, baybee, but GAWD it drives me batty. WHY would you choose to appear as though you are dropping a load on stage? WHY?
We then turn the channel to The Starlet (I love George. Gotta love a man comfortable enough with his own sexuality to watch all these shows...AND is able to ignore the fierce sexuality and instead criticize their hair, makeup, and clothes, right?) Anyway, during this show, there was a commercial for Dr. Pepper. It starts out with the song Stacy's Mom Has Got It Goin' On ...okay...whatever, no biggie. Until. They zoom out and show a less-than-average-looking soccer mom get out of her mini-van. They cut to a group of pre-teen soccer kids. Back to the mom, she dangles her car keys at the boys, and dons a come-hither look. She uses her key remote to open the back door of the van, where there is an open cooler of sexy-looking Dr. Pepper cans. The kids get all happy and the camera inSISTS on showing mom's come-fuck-me look again, then they go into slow-mo and show the kids dropping their soccer balls and skateboards and tear off to the van. This commercial disturbs me very, very much. What the HELL were they THINKING??? Listen up execs: juuuust because a dozen fucked up female teachers are doing their pre-teen students does NOT mean that WE find it not only acceptable behavior, but are excited to see you play it out while touting your products! Friggin EW.
Also while watching The Starlet, the girl that was kicked off was shown in a little spot at the end of the show. She accepted her loss very gracefully, and was tearfully informing us that she was NOT givin' up on her dream, y'all! and it was all very inspirational, but then she said "and I WILL make it...I swear on my NAME...!" Ummm...HUH??? How do ya DO that, exactly? So does this mean if you DON'T, in fact, make it, then I get to remove your name from you? That you'll then be known forevermore as...your first name??
More fun search terms from Freaks Searchin' the 'Net:
tight pants pain
queef xxx [WHY do you search for this?? Queef is a SOUND ya little pervert.]
shot my ass myself [not TOO surprising...he IS from France...]
monster boobs thunder thighs
burger king bacon cheddar black men commercial [what the hell does BLACK men have to do with it??]
people pooping on each other porn [he uses AOL...which explains a LOT...proof that AOL users enjoy abuse]
enjoyment ass picture
taco twat
broken down old fart
tony danza porn
pantyhose humiliation [isn't WEARING them enough??]
female drunk hiccup videos
funny pitchurs [gotta love igner'nt rednecks, eh?]
"the l word" pictures nude
fran drescher porn
nude bking [I can't decide if I'm more disturbed if they mean burger king or biking...]
publix porn [what is WRONG with people??]
pee traffic "hold it"
oprah nude
please let me see moms nude [no, ya sick fuck]
ass woman
teenager does not clean up after masturbation [you have GOT to be kidding me...]
smell pantyhose
free picture pale skin
vida ass
bottle in ass picture
demi moore bruce ugly children [see? it's not just me!]
conclusion about pumping gas
marriage sucks for american men
why does my greyhound eat grass? [I was told that dogs eat grass when they aren't feeling well and instinctively know that they need to vomit to feel better, and eating grass is the doggie form of sticking your finger down your throat. FYI.]
"people who fart"
birthday porn
"light nipples"
funny rodents
oops i poop my pants
wife loves enemas [thaaaanks fer sharin']
kirstie alley boobs tits
how dumb can a american get? [apparently not NEARLY as dumb as an Aussie with no concept whatsoEVER of the basics of grammar.]
hackers suck ass [true dat]
why do i get pimples on my ass
ass tanning
Last 5 Entries:
How Much Are YOU Worth? - Sunday, Jan. 08, 2006 Perfume and Lazy Bastards.... - Wednesday, Jan. 04, 2006 Like Poop Through a Goose.... - Saturday, Dec. 31, 2005 Bling and Bullets.... - Thursday, Dec. 29, 2005 Get Into The Frickin Spirit.... - Friday, Dec. 23, 2005
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