Yes, it's another Gracie Hates Everybody rant today. But first: I don't hate the troops. Gracie LOVES and supports her troops. Especially those that read her site. Hi y'all! Thanks for all you do!
I just noticed that Showgirls is on TBS and TRIED to watch Weird Science on...some other channel. I have to ask the stations: WHY freakin' bother? Seriously. If a movie has more than 2 or 3 curse words? SHOW SOMETHING ELSE! Dubbing over (and badly at that) with things like "Well gosh darn!" instead of the original "Well Goddamn!" and substituting 'guts' and 'gizzards' for the word 'nuts' is just reeeeally insulting. Especially when it's a movie that I loved. Like Weird Science - I LOVED this movie when I was a teenager. Seeing it now is a bit less fun, possibly because I am a computer nut now and realize the ridiculousness of their computer antics (not the 'creating a woman' thing...DUH...the other shots) but still. Yet another movie from my childhood ruined.
Oh, but Showgirls? HILARIOUSLY awful. God bless Elizabeth Berkley for believing the liar that told her she could act, much less dance...must've been the same person that counseled Demi Moore prior to her Striptease performance. Angry Dancers, both. Angry, horrible dancing actors.
I am in a so very mean mood tonight, can you tell? Want REAL cattiness? Wanna see just how low I can go? My hormones have overtaken the vessel and I'll just hafta apologize later. I must release this huge irritation within. Plus I'm out of chocolate. I will try to keep this focused on celebrities only, since really...who cares about them much anyway? Here we go:
Who would have EVER believed that Demi Moore and Bruce Willis could produce such unattractive children?
Am I the only person that thinks that Serena Williams looks like a very HUGE drag queen? A well-dressed drag queen, but over the top butch none-the-less.
Is there any bigger white trash redneck idiot than Britney Spears? And not just because of her holy shit stupid marriage to that dork leech (you know - the one that dumped the mother of his 2 kids...WHILE SHE WAS PREGNANT....and who has never heard of a freakin' belt?) And now this twat is yodeling her desire to be a mom. Good god. I don't care how little religion any of us has, THIS is no time for selfishness, people. We ALL need to say a collective prayer that those two will NOT breed. I'd sooner give another child to Michael Jackson than wish to see Mr. & Mrs. Federline procreate.
I used to have respect for Nicole Kidman. Until she began dating that assmunch billionare who knocked up Elizabeth Hurley and not only dumped her right after that, but then DENIED he was the father. Thank god for modern science, which proved what a schmuck he was. I don't blame Ms. Hurley. There wasn't much in the news about what a dick Bing was then. But since? And Ms. Kidman chooses to date him anyway? AND she has two children who will be exposed to the morals (or lack thereof...) of this so called 'man'...well...it just makes me sick. Plus he's ugly as hell. But rich. How pathetic.
barbara streisand: so incredibly stupid. Intellectually she is an insect. And not just because she can't spell to save her life. She is truly, frighteningly stupid. What's really funny is that she has actually HIRED someone to type and proofread for her now. If you saw her original postings on her website (you'll have to do a google search for her...I refuse to promote her idiotic rantings on this site) and what is there now (spelling and grammatical errors --not to mention psychotic ramblings-- cleaned up and/or corrected) you would feel just as sorry for her as I do. In a 'please PLEASE grow a brain and until then SHUTTHEFUCKUP' sort of way.
This century's most tired sight: Lil Kim's boobs. Girlfriend, please. We never ever want to see your tits, must less on the red carpet, even less considering how fake and bleeehhh they are and espeCIALLY when combined with your thunder thighs in shorts that would make daisy duke blush. Hit the gym, take a class in CLASS and get back to me.
This century's second most tired being: P. Diddy. What a joke. At least he is supremely pleased and in love with himself, because nobody else is. He and Al Gore would make a great team, as Puffy has convinced himself that he is the pioneer of all things hollywood and glitzy. As though the Rat Pack didn't exist before him, nor did any other well-dressed men. Puffer? You. Are. A. JOKE.
When did Renee Zellweger become Asian? Has anyone noticed that her eyes are permanent slits now? And what's with her always poofing out her lips? And can she not just stand straight for a picture? WHY does she always have to turn away and then peer over her shoulder?? The hell?
Ashlee Simpson: Dying your hair black (a bad choice to begin with) does not a Punk Rocker make. Nor does painting your nails black. I don't know if it's Ashlee or the media perpetuating the idea that she's 'punk' but 'A punk' is more like it. Sex Pistols anyone? The Clash? The Ramones? The Misfits? Somehow Ashlee just doesn't seem to fit in there anywhere. Girly? Ya sing whiny pop. Poor Me pop. My sister's rich n' pretty waaaaaah pop. Shut up. Poser.
Does anyone give a flying fuck about Ellen "Hey! Didja hear I'm gay?!" Degeneres and her love life? Really? I mean, these sheep don't even realize that her show sucks ASS and that she couldn't be more of a dork if she TRIED, nor does anyone seem to 'get' that she dates only so long as it seems publicly beneficial, then dumps the poor sap and chooses someone a lil more shocking whenever she needs to see herself in the news just one. more. time. Portia De Rossi is her latest plaything. Anyone care?
Kirstie Alley: Was thiiiiis close to being the comeback queen and theeeen she had to fuck it all up by falling for the hollywood idiocy that she isn't just fine the was she is now, and denounces herself, declaring that she now has to drop all the weight, but QUICK, and insults millions of normal, average women across the world in the process when she claims that her weight is something to be disgusted and hated. Hers is one new show I can confidently say I won't miss when I refuse to watch it. Get some counseling girlfriend.
I was channel surfing the other day (on vacation and already watched all my tivo'd shows) and saw the old 1980-something flick Scruples. I remember reading the book in highschool (before I grew a brain) and decided to watch and laugh at the hideous clothes, hairstyles, and horrific acting. And lo and behold who should come onscreen but a VERY young Kim Cattrall. No sooner had she come into the shot when I yelled "OOOh! Kim Cattrall! I wonder how long it will be till she has sex with someone!" and - no joke - it was 30 seconds. THIRTY SECONDS and she was thrusting a man's hand into her shirt and begging him to do her. It's pathetic, really, that the woman cannot do a movie unless she's screwing someone. I don't see why she bothered with hollywood when porn-ville was riiiight around the corner and MUCH better suited to her slut nature.
See? I TOLD you I was in a snotty mood. But not so snotty that I have no compassion for those in need:
Tune in tomorrow when I'm a little nicer. Maybe...
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Someone Arrived Here Searching For:
picture of an oompa loompa
