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Puttin' the FUN in dys-FUN-ctional!! It's the holidays! Time for Ding Fries Are Done! |
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Ohhh, I cannot WAIT until Saturday Night Live starts doing skits mocking Nancy Grace. I am currently watching her interview on Courttv with Amber Frey and I am having THE hardest time getting past 'her' to pay attention to the interview itself. I mean, forget about the oompa-loompa makeup they painted on both women...makeup so orange that I expected them, at any moment, to break into flute-tinged songs extolling the evils of candy; makeup so orange on their face, yet none on their alabaster necks, making it so much worse. Oooops, went off on a bit of a tangent there. Back to Goober Grace. Her exaggerated mannerisms are hilarious. Her frown-smile; moving her head in hen-peck fashion on each. important. syllable. Her leaning toward Amber, furrowing her brow, touching Amber, and asking an important question. I couldn't stop thinking that it was so much like a Saturday Night Live skit. What intelligent, cultured person would behave so stupidly? So overly dramatic? So goofy? I respect her knowledge, but if I never saw her do another interview or speech, it would be too soon.
Can someone explain to me WHY Ms. Grace feels the need to preface each question with "QUESTION. Why did you...." Why does she have to say 'question'? As though the person being interviewed won't be able to figure out that this is something to which they should respond?? Then again, what with all her interrupting her guests while they attempt to answer (wresting the focus back to her, in a MOST pathetic fashion) could, quite possibly, lead to the guest's confusion. GOD she gets on my last nerve.
Oh. Ohhhh, they just panned back and I can now see that Nancy (who can't be a DAY less than 42) is wearing a blue LEATHER SUIT. Lea-ther. Now, I will concede that it makes her eyes stand out, as does her blue makeup and the blue background and the blue satin shirt and the blue blue blue (WE GET IT! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE STUNNED BY HER BEEE-YOOO-TIFUL BLUE EYES!) but honey. Leather? No. No no no. And especially when we have a few pounds to shed. The camera? It is not kind.
Okay, one last bitchy, petty remark and I will let it go: Those eyebrows. *shudder* honey? Us silly humans are aware that the eyebrows begin within an inch or two of the bridge of the nose. NOT above the iris. And where did her REAL eyebrows go? They're like a much worse version of Pamela Anderson's eyebrows.
Okay, I lied. One more snotty remark:
Dear Courttv,
FIX YER FREAKIN' VOLUME! Your commercials are at a level 3 volume, but your programs are at a level 32. It has given both my dogs and me SERIOUS anxiety issues. They're all yelping in terror each time I turn to your channel, due to the idiotic volume discrepancies. Knock it off!
Love,
So yeah. I'm mean. You
George and I were listening to the news late the other night. And here is what we heard a reporter say: "At 11:04, I'm Jennifer Griffith."
Gracie: "Aaaaand, who are ya at MIDNIGHT, chicky?"
George: "At Midnight, I'm Mistress Spanky Bottom!"
I love him.
Much thanks to Kathi for sending me this. Gave me a giggle. Enjoy!
Right click on this text and choose "Save Target As..." and save it to your computer.
GRACIE'S link o' the day: Congrats to Steph on her new journal. The porn story is priceless. And no, it's not what it sounds like.
Someone Arrived Here Searching For:
Retarded Husband
[ Ohhh, you've met George, have ya? ]
Last 5 Entries:
How Much Are YOU Worth? - Sunday, Jan. 08, 2006 Perfume and Lazy Bastards.... - Wednesday, Jan. 04, 2006 Like Poop Through a Goose.... - Saturday, Dec. 31, 2005 Bling and Bullets.... - Thursday, Dec. 29, 2005 Get Into The Frickin Spirit.... - Friday, Dec. 23, 2005
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