:: American Angst :: |
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Puttin' the FUN in dys-FUN-ctional!! It's the holidays! Time for Ding Fries Are Done! |
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I just got home (reeeeally late Friday night...Thank buh-jeezus for my mother and her willingness to drive all the way out to the airport to pick me up!) and finally sat down to watch all my tivo'd programs (side note: Could someone on the Southern Women's Accents and Other Irritating Qualities of Prissy Bitches pleeeeeease convince these women...at least those that do radio commercials, to please PLEASE stop saying proh-grums instead of programs??? I cannot take it anymore!) and saw the American Idol performance that got Scott kicked off. I have to say, I think he did a great job on both songs...I don't understand this hatred of him. Sure he's sorta scary looking and immature and not at ALL intelligent, but he has a really nice voice and I think he did a much better job than Anthony, who's cute and has an okay voice, but you have to admit that tracheotomy-boy is pretty damned boring (and a little TOO into singing those estrogen-laced songs) and that night he did a pretty yucky job, even for him. Just sad. And even more so for Semencrust....WHO will he insult now that Scott 'The Body' Savol is gone??
Gracie's Prediction: As much as I believe that Carrie and Vonzell (who has improved exponentially) have better voices, I have to say that I think Bo will win this. He seems to have really captured the audience in ways that neither of the two girls seems to have.
Oh and Corey Clark? TOTAL piece of shit. Absolute complete and total loser asshole. I hope he fails and fails miserably. I don't care if what he says IS true, he's a waste of space. And really? It's WORSE if it's true, because it sounds like Paula did nothing but do nice things for him and while I disagree with favoritism of this sort on a competitive show, despite her really having nothing to do the success or failure of any contestant (the 'judges' don't actually have any say in the contestants' staying or going; the American public decides that, supposedly, with their phone-in voting. The 'judges' are just people who dole out judgmental comments on the performances) but what Mr. Crimi-Clark is doing now is spiteful, disrespectful, and so opportunist that I desperately want to smack him...hard. He's a talentless, immoral, ignorant criminal, ugly inside and out, and I hope he fails spectacularly and, better still, gets blackballed. So long as Justin Guarini sells more records than Corey Clark does, I'll be happy. And considering the fact that, the last I heard, Justin sold less than a quarter of a million records, I'd say that'd be good enough for me.
Watching his parents on that tabloid piece on Primetime Live goes a looooong way toward explaining the lack of decency and proper upbringing. So did the way Corey averted his eyes through much of his 'interview'. If he were being completely forthcoming, he would have looked the interviewer in the eyes. The way his eyes darted from side to side and stared at the floor for parts of every answer? Awfully revealing.
Man I hate this guy. HATE. HIM. The only way he can succeed (with his crappy new album where he sings about his sugar mama that he's currently fucking over) is to trash other people. And while I intend to get famous for doing something similar (though I would never, EVER divulge private information about people I care about...or even people I truly dislike, though I know several of them continue to read my site just to see if I'm truly indecent enough to tell everyone what pieces of shit they are since they're obviously wretched judges of character, but rest assured *people who shall remain nameless since I DO, in fact, possess a degree of decency and decorum* your shitty behavior will remain unspoken...you know whatcha did...I know whatcha did...the world doesn't need to.) back to what I was saying, though: what Corey is doing is despicable, plain and simple. And ABC is apparently vying for Worst Network Most Likely to Become A Tabloid-o-rama, Due to Our Increasing Status as Totally Unreliable in Journalistic Excellence, coming in a close second behind CBS. I just can't believe they aired this piece of garbage.
Saw a commercial on television today and I am ashamed to admit that it cracked me up. I know that, intellectually, I should be mildly offended, but I can't help myself. It's the Aspercreme commercial, and their jingle goes "You bet your sweet Aspercreme!" and I was surprised at first and then found myself giggling. And there ya have it...another example of how Gracie will never grow up.
I also watched one of the Netflix videos that's been hanging around my house for at least a month now. I watched Alfie. A bit of a letdown, but I've seen worse. My real disappointment, though, was at the very beginning, before the movie even began. The DVD starts with trailers, which you are free to fast forward through. Then you see the beloved Federal Warning. Which is fine, but you aren't allowed to fast forward through it?? Come ON! So idiotic. I mean, we've ALL read it at least once, usually as a teenager, half-stoned and paranoid that the feds are stakin' you out for having a tiny joint hidden in your underwear drawer, which probably wouldn't be a HUGE deal on its own, but couple that with copying Ferris Bueller's Day Off 4 (or 12) times for friends who spent all their cash on beer and bud? THAT just may get me arrested. So I read the warning once...I mean...SOME people read it once but let's be real here...we GET it...we aren't supposed to copy the movies; we will be fined hugely if we do; but seriously? The sort of person that copies movies freely? They KNOW they aren't supposed to, and your little 'warning' isn't going to stop them. And forcing me to watch it each and every time I see a movie? Which, let's be honest here, is pretty often? TOTALLY pisses me off. Only downside to DVD over VHS is this very thing...that they're overly controlling...too authoritative for my rebellious ass...too much like being told what to do. And makes me want to copy the fucker just for spite.
I can make my own decisions between right and wrong...you forcing me to waste a minute of my life to NOT read the warning isn't going to change a thing. Why can't you just trust in the intrinsic goodness of people and knock that shit off??
So I need to tell ya: I have a TON of notes from my trip to Vegas. Such interesting (and freakish) people to be seen in the City O' Sin and I have notes everywhere, so I will type them up as I have the time and as I find them, but they will likely be out of order, a bit scattered (shocker!) and spread out over the next week or so. Just so ya know.
As you know, I took the trip to Vegas alone, since George had to travel out of the country at the same and wasn't able to come with me. And while I was there, I was very proud of myself that I was able to eat dinner in restaurants by myself without bringing reading material. Big step for Gracie. I've been with George for 5 years now and we always go out together. Before I met him, eating dinner -- alone -- in a restaurant without someone else to talk to or something to read was anathema to me. But since I was on vacation by myself and THAT was going a-okay, I decided it was time to put on my Big Girl Panties and eat alone in a restaurant. And I'm just so glad I did. Not only did I realize that it's just not a big deal to do so...at ALL, but I also got to see some pretty interesting (and irritating) people.
For instance, one night I decided to eat at what the hotel called 'upscale' Italian dining. Gracie loooooves her some Italian food, so I figured I couldn't go wrong. And it was a very nice restaurant, and they wait on you hand and foot...call you by name, and just pamper the hell out of you. Ohhhh and you pay for it. My bill...for just me (I had a phenomenal dish of lasagna, only 1/4 of which I was able to eat, plus a caesar salad, and Pellegrino water) was over $50.00. I've been to many, many Italian restaurants and was surprised that the selection on the menu wasn't nearly as diverse as most other restaurants, but you can't go wrong with lasagna, and this was no exception. Truly wonderful. If you are at the Rio All-Suites hotel in Vegas and aren't sure what to eat? Go to Andreotti and order lasagna and Pellegrino. *Gracie makes the universal symbol for Good Italian Eats! Manja! where you scrunch up all your fingers and kiss them, then fan the fingers out as you remove them from your face. Which, if you think about it, is a pretty stupid action.*
Wow. Totally got off track there. So I'm waiting for my dinner, and the tables are set rather closely together, so you can't help but overhear conversations. I had a wall on my right and a table of four on my left. The other tables in the immediate vicinity were empty, and this table of four blocked the other tables, so their conversation was the one that Gracie spent the most time being privy to. There were four people - two couples; not a single person in that group was a day under 75. They were rather quiet and subdued and that was fine with me, though I had hoped for something more interesting to focus on, but okay. So I studied the room, the atmosphere, watched the men in the kitchen performing their rituals. And then? The bill was delivered to the table of four. And as old people are wont to do, they began discussing each person's portion of the bill and who had what to eat and who drank what and do you have 3 dollar bills? No, I don't WANT to leave a FIVE dollar bill! That's more than the required 10%!! And oh. my. FREAKIN GAWD. I actually timed them, and they discussed this shit for NO LESS than 17 minutes. SEVEN. TEEN. minutes. It may not sound like a long time, but start a timer right now and discuss a four-way bill split when nobody had anything extravagant or alcoholic to drink and do that for a full 17 minutes. You will kill yourself after the first 8. I swear. It was all I could do not to call the waiter over and pay their bill just to shut 'em up. But that was gamblin' money and they were cheapskates, so I kept my cash to myself and resisted the overwhelming --secondary-- urge to lean over and say something to them...something along the lines of 'ohmyGOD! It's an $80.00 bill! I saw you all eating! You all had roughly the same. exact. MEAL! It's $20.00 per person! How HARD is that to split? And don't EVEN think about stiffing that waiter, who had to put up with your Old Person bit that is apparently required by LAW after a certain age, where you complain about every little thing, and use a freakin' magnifying glass on the bill, and decide that the main course was 2 degrees cooler than you felt was appropriate, therefore the waiter gets only a 7% tip, despite his taking excellent care of you all and not popping you square on the forehead for nagging his ass over the tiramisu you ordered at the last minute taking --gasp-- 6 minutes to prepare. Shut up and pay the bill, give him 20% and get the fuck outta here."
Instead I wrote it all down for you guys. Hey! I hafta pick my battles and I wasn't in the mood for someone less able to deliver witty banter and dialogue than the Almighty Gracie...just couldn't handle another someone whose only comeback is calling me fat for having the nerve to call them on their bullshit. As stupid as it is, as mean and unintelligent as it is...it still wounds and I just didn't feel like hearing it again so soon after Airport Schmuck. So I rolled my eyes...muttered a few choice comments, confident that they were all too deaf to hear or care, and focused on my $7.00 bottle of water (leave me alone...Vegas tap water sucks ASS).
Like I said, I got home a couple of days ago and I had NO idea that a mere 3 hour time difference would destroy me the way it apparently has. Last night? Didn't sleep a wink. I was totally wired all night. Nothing I did or tried worked. So I figured that, since I have mucho meetings Monday morning and absolutely could NOT stay home, that I would just stay up all night and deal with the fatigue and push through it. That didn't happen. Ohhh, no, no, no. No sleep for the Gracie. So it's 8 o'clock in the morning on Mother's day and I'm still awake. I still wanted to just push through it, but I was wired and exhausted at the same time and thought, well, okay, I'll just take a nap...a quick 2 or 3 hour nap. So I tuned the channel to the Home Shopping Network, thinking it would be consistent white noise that wouldn't startle me and mess with my sleep. An hour and a few hundred dollars later I realize that THIS channel is the spawn of Satan and I turn it to a golf game and finally fall asleep.
6 effin hours later I wake up. It's now 3 o'clock in the afternoon. Greeeeat. I am supposed to go to SLEEP again in 8 hours and I am just. waking. UP. The hell am I going to do? Ahhhh, yes, I've got it. Sleeping pills? Meet Gracie.
Note from Gracie: 'Alright' is not proper. I see it all the time and am even guilty of typing it myself...until I learned that it is, in fact, not correct. It's All. Right. Two words. Thank you. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming, already in progress.
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Last 5 Entries:
How Much Are YOU Worth? - Sunday, Jan. 08, 2006 Perfume and Lazy Bastards.... - Wednesday, Jan. 04, 2006 Like Poop Through a Goose.... - Saturday, Dec. 31, 2005 Bling and Bullets.... - Thursday, Dec. 29, 2005 Get Into The Frickin Spirit.... - Friday, Dec. 23, 2005
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