:: American Angst :: |
||||||
|
|
 Join the Angst Update List and get email when I update my site Praise? Suggestions? Vitriol? Email Me! |
Puttin' the FUN in dys-FUN-ctional!! It's the holidays! Time for Ding Fries Are Done! |
||||
|
I'm still quite shocked that Jessica was kicked off instead of Anwar. He was horrible. But on to this week, yes?
Scott Savol: off-pitch...all chipmunky. WHY do so many contestants do this mid-way thru the season??? Clarkson at least waited till she'd won...THEN sucked ass. It's sad that he's been this bad for a few shows in a row now, because I really liked him. Randy Jackson, as per usual, can't criticize without prefacing it with "Sssss what up dawg? sssss" (and can't be bothered to wait for a response, which just confirms that he only says that because he's uncomfortable giving criticism.) Paula called it the 'most heartfelt of the season'?? idiot. suuuuuch an idiot. It was flat, boring, and sucked out loud. Simon, of course, was correct. Paula, of course, couldn't just let him speak.
Constantine: I actually didn't want to poke him in the eye this time. I didn't love it, but it was pretty good. A little off-pitch, but overall...not bad. Randy: good feedback. Paula: It's nice to see her finally admitting that she's fast becoming a pedophile. Yep. Instead of her typical "America is falling in lurrrrv with you" she changed things up and said that she was falling in love with him...which is an improvement, to be sure, but still...ewww. And, of course, during Simon's feedback, she couldn't just shut up and let him talk (little Ms. drama) and had to call Constantine 'brilliant'. Leeeeet's not go overboard, hokay?
Hhahahahahaa. Did you see what Paula was wearing on her wedding ring finger?? A huuuuuge skull and crossbones. Hee. So many jokes come to mind, but I'll just go with George's comment: "Is that her way of reminding us that she will die an annoyingly stupid old maid?" Yep...that about sums it up.
Typical - whenever they have an orchestra, they are ALWAYS on a different pitch than the singer. I don't know why, but it always happens.
Carrie: love her. Not my favorite song, but she is just so incredible. I also like that she was the only one that bothered to dress the part for Musicals Night.
Vonzell: Not bad. Paula...sigh....she just had to stand up and do her open fingered clap. Yeesh. It was just so-so; not standing-ovation-worthy. And Randy...calling everyone brilliant. Hurl.
Anthony Federov: Ohhhh no he dih-int! Is he actually singing a dance-mix version of Climb Every Mountain?? Noooooo! Ohhhhh YUCK and a HALF!!
Paula? PLEASE shut. UP. Let Simon talk! Just ONCE let him make a comment without injecting your idiotic comments all over it! Hey here's a thought: Dear Producers, PLEASE take George's advice - when one judge is giving feedback, TURN OFF the other judge's mics, okay? Thank you.
Anwar: "This song was from Camelot on 'brawtway'"? Dude! There is NO 'T' IN BROADWAY!!! ohhhh and "...from the original starring Richard Burton and Julie Andrews in 1960. But it's probably more well known for the 1967 motion picture starring Richard Harris." Rrrriiiight...couldn't be well-known for the BOOK, huh? It's CAMELOT, you big dork. Try visiting the library once in a while. Oh, and NICE scarf there macho man. Ohhhh and here comes Paula: "Your music just melts america's hearts. you are technically the best singer on the stage." FINALLY it's become clear. Paula is DEAF. STOP speaking for me ya pill popper. He melts NOTHING on me.
Bo: ttttoooootally cooled my crush on him. He looked high and goofy. Didn't like it at all. Maybe it's just that it's musicals...I don't know. I thought I loved musicals, but I didn't like any song, really. And to illustrate this point, I have to say that, aside from Carrie, who I'd like no matter what she sang, I liked Nikko's performance best. What's THAT tell ya??
Oh for the luv o' gawd, Paula...just have sex with all the boys and get it over with, wouldya?
Nadia: So arrogant. "..to be able to convey that conviction, you know, to MY audience..." Hey! Wanna knock that chip off your shoulder a bit sweets? Oh no. No no no. Nadia. Smell-the-fart snarl? On a ballad from OLIVER???? Honey...you are not all that. Learn a bit of humility. It's sad, too, because if I close my eyes, I can appreciate her voice, but she RUINS it completely with her idiotic facial expressions and snarling frowns. It's like she thinks she's channeling Patti LaBelle and Tina Turner and it's laughable. George and I spent (waaaay too long) imitating her snarls and saying stupid things to each other with her facial expressions. We need therapy. We do.
Whew. Thank god THAT'S over.
Have you seen the new commercial for the digital phone with the keypads the size of your foot? This commercial drives George absolutely bonkers. After they showed a wretched old woman unsuccessfully trying to dial on her regular phone, they show her happily dialing on the new phone and say "It may just be the easiest phone to use!" and George lost it. "EASIEST phone to use?? *HIGHPITCHEDNOISEOFCONSTERNATION* HOW HARD are all the other phones to USE??? SERIOUSLY?? How fuckin hard is it??? Now...maybe it's me, but watch this! *rewinds tivo* Look! look how frustrated she is!!! Look how hard she slams her mangled fingers into the keys, missing the numbers on purpose! All 'Isssss soo fuckin hard!!' yeah, like she couldn't push a button, uh-huh. Ohhhh, NOW look how fast her crippled fingers move on the other phone!! What...are her grandkids going around gluing her buttons so she can't dial??? This is the DUMBEST thing I've ever seen!!"
Don't worry, I've been slowly introducing valium into his coffee.
Nashville Star: Let me just say that I am THRILLED that liar Tamika went home. I was irritated with her enough based on her nasty comments the previous week, but on last week's show she was trying to back-pedal since she'd obviously received some flack for her comments and she had the NERVE to say, when asked if she regretted anything: "I regret calling a prayer meeting, cause that's all I did." Auuuuggghhh, L-I-A-R. WE HEARD YOU. I don't care WHAT you call the group setting, you SAID hateful SHIT. Think about that missy.
This week's show comments:
Jayron Weaver - the big effeminate cowboy was the first to learn that he was back for another week. I don't much like him, but apparently many other people do. His feedback was the same as it always is (Bret: slathering it on thicker than Paula Abdul; Anastasia: Bitchy-Simon-Wanna-Be; Whats-His-Face: Bring it!) and it pisses me off. They always tell him "I wanna see that passion. bring it! BRING. IT."
Gracie: "Sigh. They ALWAYS say that! Did it ever occur to them that mmmaaaaaaybe he doesn't have it to BRING!?"
George: "Maybe he left it at home."
Jason Meadows: So hot. I don't know why. He's probably dumb as a brick. I used to date a cowboy and he was beautiful and just oozed sexiness, but was hit so hard with dumb dust that I had to break up with him. It was sad and I made him cry, but it just couldn't have lasted. I needed me a George. A smart, funny, cute as hell meanie who isn't afraid to say it like it is. WAY better than a cowboy. But I will agree that Jason may just go far in this competition, because there's just something about a true southern gentleman wearing a cowboy hat. Yessiree. I could do without that grapefruit he apparently shoved down his pants tonight, though. Ick.
Feedback from Bret Moron: "You know what I think. I think I think I'm sticking by this, like I told you before, i stick to this and I say it. I dig it."
Erica-Jo needs to win this. She is terrific.
Leann, honey, please pick another pattern of letting people know they aren't kicked off. Several weeks in a row, now, you do this thing where you call (as an example) Jason over to talk to you. You send Jason back to the group. You then call the name of the winner. They sing. Back to the group shot. You call Jody over. You talk to him. You send him back. Then you call Jason's name as the next person not to be kicked off. Jason sings, then back to the group setting. Then you announce Jody. It's so predictable. Stop it.
Bret...it's bad enough that he mouths the wrong words to every song...apparently thinking that it will make the audience believe that he's more credible...because...he knows the words to each and every song ever sung...even though he doesn't...but tonight? He not only sang the wrong words, but had to play air-fiddle along with Justin David. WHY? WHY? And why? And you KNOW the producers and cameramen think he's an ass, too, because they always zoom in on him when he does it. Absolute riot.
Heh. I LOVE that they listened to me (shhhh yes they did) and showed the horrific auditions of those that didn't make it onto the show. Scary.
George: I want a strange guy standing outside my bedroom window with a breakfast sandwich tomorrow morning. Can you arrange that?"
Someone Arrived Here Searching For:
"pop goes the weasel" racist
ow my ass bone hurts
naked people pooping
paula abdul and slurring
"shit in my mouth"
transvestite lansing michigan
ass-expand
i wanna fuck fran drescher [good luck with that]
sleepwalk peeing
true ass woman
legless porn
men taking it up the arse
*Note: How the HELL did I become THE premier porn results site in the world??? --- yeah, yeah, I know...it wouldn't be so bad if I'd quit posting these 'found' search terms, but they're so damned funny (and a weeee bit disturbing!) *end note*
tonya the dog fucker [see???] [also, I'm very bothered that he knows her name...that THAT makes the difference for him...]
I wonder how Queen Latifah would feel if she knew that hundreds of people a day arrive at my site alone by searching on variations of 'queen latifah's great big huge tits'?
"why i hate jesus"
how to beat someone up
gay shaun cassidy [ohhhhh, WHY would you want to destroy my childhood???]
picture of ass fun [ass at the zoo! ass at six flags! ass at the washington monument! ass fun!]
"women with facial hair"
pre poop fart [after this cracked me up...I started to become angry. because I really, REALLY need to understand what the HELL these people are hoping to FIND!]
nancy fucking grace [you'd be amazed at how many violent nancy grace searches I get each day]
nancy grace unprofessional [duh]
"commando sheep"
what does it mean when you poop black
crazy woman nancy-grace
Note: These next few all happened within 30 minutes of each other and all from different people:
nancy grace sucks
who the fuck is nancy grace?
"nancy grace" the bitch
nancy grace in leather
"nancy grace sucks"
fuck nancy grace
nancy grace is an idiot
nancy grace sucks cnn
nancy grace stupid
nancy grace nude
i hate nancy grace
nancy grace nude photo
hiccup videos for sale
american idol burped
what is a woman's pee place call [jesus CHRIST. Does someone just go around giving free computers and internet access to mountain people????]
Last 5 Entries:
How Much Are YOU Worth? - Sunday, Jan. 08, 2006 Perfume and Lazy Bastards.... - Wednesday, Jan. 04, 2006 Like Poop Through a Goose.... - Saturday, Dec. 31, 2005 Bling and Bullets.... - Thursday, Dec. 29, 2005 Get Into The Frickin Spirit.... - Friday, Dec. 23, 2005
Much love to: BlogSkins, Rick (the design), and (of
course) Powered
by Diaryland(TM) | ||||||
