:: American Angst :: |
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Puttin' the FUN in dys-FUN-ctional!! It's the holidays! Time for Ding Fries Are Done! |
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Valentine's Day conversation between George and Gracie:
Gracie: *at gas station - sees roses on front seat of car next to us* "Oooooh, lookit. HE got flowers for HIS wife. Hmph."
George: "Hey! You got steak, lobster, and a satellite radio!"
Gracie: "True. True."
George: "Thass RIGHT."
Gracie: *mumbles* "Still woulda liked some flowers though"
George: "I got you flowers....once"
Gracie: "Tch. On my BIRTHDAY."
George: "Yeeeah."
Gracie: "Dude! That was SIX FREAKIN MONTHS ago."
George: "That's RIGHT. And if they were worth a shit, they'd still be around! TOTAL waste of money!"
Gracie: "Idiot. My orgasms don't last six months and ya don't hear ME saying 'eh screw it...we're not doin' it anymore. If it'd been WORTH a damn, the 'O' would still be goin' on!'"
George: "hehehehe. That'd be funny. Walkin around work all twitchin' n' shit."
Gracie: "You are SO NOT GETTING THE POINT! ....Oooooh, lookit...a flower delivery truck. Hmph. Jerk."
George: *Rolls eyes and wonders aloud if any jury in the world would convict him of killing Gracie.*
I am happy to announce that the gas station pictures (from this entry) have finally been developed (read: Gracie finally remembered to go pick them up after Wolf Camera got tired of leaving repeated voicemail messages on her home phone.) Go ahead...click on it...you know you want to see a moron in action.
Aaaaand, the hits just keep on coming. Ahhh, the searches.
Welcome to Gracie's Confessional:
how to work on a garbage truck
ow I'm back among my people and they are kind to me [I know how ya feel, buddy!]
diana digarmo in jay leno [IN??]
www.american lesbian [are they DIFFERENT than in other countries or something?? I reeeeally need to understand why all porn searches insist on qualifying it with a country??]
fart room
woman gold teeth
fat men who fart [as opposed to skinny men who fart? Cuz there's a difference in the farts? Man...that's some kinda dating criteria ya got goin on there.]
barbara streisand boobs [aaaaand here's where Gracie runs to the bathroom to vomit.]
dog eats her own frozen poop [so try thawing it...]
rid angst [dream on sugar! I ain't goin' noWHERE!]
please wipe toilet seat
asshead picture [god...I have so MANY]
etiquette for slamming doors
i wore pantyhose today [AAAagain?!?]
my son is lying to his mother [I'm 'unna TEEEEELLLL!]
pictures of people pooping
p0rn0
sausage commercial instructions [uuuumm...watch...salivate...repeat?]
only portuguese pussy [HOW WOULD YOU KNOW?!?!]
"tight pants" cause farts [Yeeeah...it's the PANTS, babe.]
coworker with fat ass hates everybody [Well wouldn't YOU??]
"biggest dick in the world"
"malt liquor" "bench press"
big naked tits and pussy
wife's boss caused divorce
cute beat-up babies [the fuck is WRONG with people!??!]
not sure if missed dog phenobarbital [why were we aiming at it in the first place??]
can,t pee [quit tellin' me what to do!]
i'm so freakin hungry [ahhhh, the colonoscopy blues, eh?]
picture of colonoscopy procedure [ohhh, now come on]
and she's walking down the street and singing doo
pee shiver
pee shiver
pee shiver [3 in a row. Within moments of each other. why? why??]
sweet n pantyhose
my ass hurts from sitting at work
how to get 1000000000000000
oops i crap my pants [and how often does this occur?]
picture of someone taking a shit
queen latifah's titties
empanyada [idiot]
american bitch [you rang?]
tight pants song
yahoo lesbian briefcase [okay...aside from wondering how the HELL you'd determine that the briefcase was a lesbian...why are you HAPPY about it??]
pictures of people pooping [get a JOB, would ya??]
queen latifah big tits [shocking number of these lately...not titties...but Queen's]
biotch [isn't it funny that I am what appears when someone searches for 'bitch']
pictures of little penises
why men smell pantyhose [well why do men do ANYTHING, really??]
Last 5 Entries:
How Much Are YOU Worth? - Sunday, Jan. 08, 2006 Perfume and Lazy Bastards.... - Wednesday, Jan. 04, 2006 Like Poop Through a Goose.... - Saturday, Dec. 31, 2005 Bling and Bullets.... - Thursday, Dec. 29, 2005 Get Into The Frickin Spirit.... - Friday, Dec. 23, 2005
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