:: American Angst ::

Friday, Nov. 12, 2004 Service Personnel Diaries.... I received the following email from my friend Jae and just had to share: My Heating and Air guy thinks I�m marriage material. I�ve obviously done something wrong here. Allow me to frame the scene: Today, since I am a woman of leisure these days, I went to see my personal trainer after dropping Jake off at school. After an hour of throwing weights around and doing ball lifts (don�t ask � it�s almost as obscene as it sounds), I came home and promptly went for a brisk walk. (I�m having a low self-esteem day, so working out a bit seemed to be the correct cure.) When I returned to my soon-to-be-former home, there was a message from my Heating and Air guy�s mother letting me know that her son was on his way to do the yearly maintenance on the heating system. Excellent news, except that I�m still really gross and sweaty from working out. But it�s just the 23-year-old who changes the filters, so there�s no real harm in being seen without makeup or clean hair. Besides, I have to sweep out the very dirty garage, so I�m cool with being gross for a while. It�s important to the integrity of this tale that you understand that I was an absolute sight. The young man arrives. Before he goes on the quest to the attic to clean up the heater, he spends a few minutes letting me know that he�s taking over the business from the owner. I applaud his initiative and congratulate him on his new responsibilities, thinking that the pleasantries are over. No. Apparently, they�re not. We chat for another 10 minutes about how happy he is to be back to help me with the house until, thankfully, my phone rings, and I manage to get away from him. I�m thinking, at this point, that he�s obviously very chatty and has a very solitary job and that today is really not the best day for me to have to entertain random people who are working on my house. I go back to the garage. When he is finished with the work and filling out the paper work, I write a check, and then he starts talking to me again. This time, it�s about how, now that he�s got his professional life under way, he�s looking for a wife. This startles me. I was unaware that men approached marriage this way � �I think it�s time for marriage. Oh look, there�s a girl now.� He tells me about his most recent forays into dating. He tells me what he�s looking for in a wife. He tells me what his projected income stream is and what he likes to do in his spare time. Gradually, during this already surreal conversation, I realize with horror that he�s not just practicing his pitch. I begin deflection and evasion. I mention the 10-year marriage that failed. He has no problem with former marriages. I mention the kid. He loves kids and has no problem disciplining children. I mention that when he�s my age, he�ll realize that he should have waited until he was 30 to decide to �go find someone to marry.� At this point, the subject of age is surfaced. He becomes aware, to his dismay, that I�m only two years younger than his MOTHER, but then he says, �I think older women have a lot to offer a younger man.� Holy crap, Batman. My next line? �Wow! Look at the time! I really have to get back to that garage! It�s been lovely chatting with you, and I hope you find that sweet girl you�re looking for.� He walks to the door with me excruciatingly slowly, telling me how I can call on him for anything at all. If I ever need anything. Really. Oh my God. I was already struggling with this whole dating concept � determining gradually that I don�t want to leave my house anymore. Now, not even my home is safe. Jae ********************************* Someone Arrived Here Searching For: brigitte nielsen boobies [Okay, if you're still referring to them as boobies? Too young to be finding them, sport. Now do your homework and get to bed.] ********************************* Write me a Note here. Read my notes here. Read a Random Entry Previous | Next Last 5 Entries: How Much Are YOU Worth? - Sunday, Jan. 08, 2006 Perfume and Lazy Bastards.... - Wednesday, Jan. 04, 2006 Like Poop Through a Goose.... - Saturday, Dec. 31, 2005 Bling and Bullets.... - Thursday, Dec. 29, 2005 Get Into The Frickin Spirit.... - Friday, Dec. 23, 2005 ^ back to top

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